Fred 74

Issue 74

Magazine

CA                         Editorial

Damn Fresher's fortnight!  Damn it to Hell and back.  You won't
believe me, but I started this issue of FRED early!  A week
early in fact.

And then God said, "Let there be Fresher's fortnight!"

"Doh!", as Homer Simpson would say.

How clever I was writing the editorial two weeks in advance.
How clever, but for one problem.  Some people came up early and
I was drawn in by the temptation of going out rather than
staying in and programming (tough choice though...)

Anyway, to cut a long story short, it's three weeks later and
I've spent all the money I don't have, lost £50 because of a
stupid bank machine and now I've decided to sit back down with
my bottle of vodka wrapped in a brown paper bag and my scraps of
food and earn some money.  Jeez, life's a bitch.

CA                         Editorial

My SAM is now sitting in my bedroom because, rather fortunately,
I managed to find two comfy chairs a couple of nights ago
(blimey, what a night).  So now I can relax and type until my
hearts content (or until I get that nasty wrist injury).

Currently, I'm preparing for the SAM and Speccy show in Leeds.
You may think that I just wake up on the Saturday morning, catch
any old train and turn up (probably late).  Heck no.  There's a
lot of preparation goes into being at a show.  For example,
tommorow, I'll be printing off some more £5 FRED vouchers, ready
to sell for just £1 each when Colin goes off to the pub or to
chat up Bob's daughter.  They sold like British Beef last time,
so I'm going to have to advertise this time.

You also have to think carefully about what to wear.  You see,
last time, I made a bit of a mistake.  Thinking I'd be wearing
my FRED jumper all day, it never occured to me that it'd matter
what I wore underneath.  However, when it got a bit warm, I had
to take the jumper off.  Underneath was my Lincoln City top,
CA                         Editorial

which I'm very proud of, but unfortunately turned the
conversation away from how good SAM C is and to taking the p**s
out of Anderton.  I hope that Tim Paveley chap burns in hell
(he thinks he can say what he likes just because he wrote EGGBuM
for FRED years back - top game though (plug, plug)).

This year, I think I'll be sensible and wear my "I Love John
Major Because He's Right About Everything" top.  That should
stop any comments being made...

I've also got to ring a few SAM friends up and ask them to drag
me off at certain times to the pub.  Colin MacD will look in
amazement when he sees what a first class performance they make
of forcing me to go with them (and won't see me buying them a
drink).

I've also got to spend the regulation 17 hours in front of the
mirror practising selling stuff that's not worth it's weight in
bricks.  Only joking, FRED provides quality software that will
CA                         Editorial

still retain its enjoyment months after purchase (wow, this
practising really helps!).

The final job I have to do is forge a train ticket for £75.
This isn't because I'm going to use it to illegally dodge paying
my train fare.  Oh no.  It's the ticket that I show Colin when
he offers to pay my expenses!  You should become employed for
FRED at these shows, they're such money spinners.

So anyway, if anyone wants to purchase any £5 FRED vouchers at
the Gloucester show, just pretend you're going to buy issue 62
of FRED and say, "I thought I'd buy this because of the well
manufactured disc."

Meanwhile, there's probably a review of the show coming up soon
(that's a bit wierd, isn't it?)



CA                         E-Mail...

As a new school year comes along, young children have their
photos taken in their nice new school uniforms, the streets are
free from arrogant little sods during the day and Colin Anderton
gets a new e-mail address.

"New?" you say.  "Yes, new" I reply.  The only way I could have
kept my old one was by paying associative hall fees, which are
FIFTEEN quid.  No thanks.  The problem was that the maths e-mail
program was pretty dire and it's a bit sad to have the word
maths in your e-mail address.  Well, this year, the maths
department have sorted themselves out and we've got a decent
e-mail proggy.  I'm still stuck with the word maths in my
address, but what the heck, eh?  You only live once.

              [redacted]

E-mail me with amusing anecdotes, relevant news, ARTICLES FOR
FRED, letters, information or just abuse me senselessly.

CA                        All Change?

When you're as intelligent as me (!), ideas whizz round in your
brain at a billion miles an hour.  This generally occurs in
really boring lectures (which is pretty much all of them).

The other day, I was thinking, "Col, what are you going to write
in FRED this month?  Shall we make something up?  No, I'm crap
at lying.  What's happened?  Nothing SAM relevant.  Oh God, I
hate thinking.  When's this lecture going to end?"

The point being I'm not very interesting.  Clearly no-one cares
if I've moved into a new house (though they should).

So, I've had a few ideas.  I've thought of ways of changing
FRED.  Nothing drastic, but the plan is to cut the crap and make
it a bit more structured.  This means having regular sections in
both the editoral and letters sections.  The ideas I've had are
listed overleaf.


CA                        All Change?

Editorial section

EDITORIAL   - Shortened version of what's already there
NEWS        - The news section
ARTICLES    - Computer related articles (hello readers...)
WHAT'S NEW? - Brief run-down of all the new releases/issues of
              things in the SAM world.
HAYLP!      - Hints/tips section (SAM and Spectrum)
FFL!        - Fantasy FRED League update
CONTENTS    - Disc Contents
THANKS      - Thankyou
ARTICLES    - Non-computer related articles

Letters section

LETTERS     - Your letters
REVIEWS     - Reviews of SAM software/hardware/magazines
MAILBOX     - E-mail and postal addresses of important people

CA                        All Change?

As you can see, the structure isn't all that different, but
there are things added in and moved about.

I'm also considering including a section called THE NET.  It
won't be the same as the main menu article which had jokes or
stories from off the net, but would instead include some
interesting discussions from the SAM net chat thing.  The only
problem is that it'd take me bloody ages to convert, so this may
be an irregular article.

As I've said before, I'd appreciate a lot of involvement from
readers.  Send in your articles, your tips, your problems,
letters and programs.

If you promise to do that, I'll promise not to talk as much
rubbish (stop cheering).

If you thought all that is a bit confusing, get this - Colin
Macdonald has written an article!  Strange, eh?  Take a look..
CM                     Colin Mac-who???

There I was, minding my own business, working day and night to
keep things afloat, when some arrogant upstart by name of Colin
Anderton phones up and demands, yes, demands that I abstain from
my usual duties and contribute a small article for the next
issue of FRED.

So here I am, for the first time in months. Hopefully, you'll be
welcoming this bit of text from me, but to everyone that prefers
CA's scribbling, you know where the right cursor key is....

I made rather an obvious point over the Summer about my
succesful completion of my University course, so now all I've
got to do is turn up for the graduation in November (yup - six
months AFTER the course finishes. Don't ask!) and that part of
my life becomes history.

So have I been earnestly seeking active employment within the
ranks of some up and coming company? er, not quite. Not at all
in actual fact.
CM

But fear not fellow tax payers, I'm not claiming from the
government either. I would be if I was allowed to, but it seems
you can't claim dole whilst trying to make your first
entreprenurial million. Or even the first hundred.

You may remember FRED's expansion into the PC market with the
development of a game. It STILL hasn't been released, due to
circumstances beyond my control, but hopefully things will get
back on track, and it'll appear in the not too distant future.

You may also be amused to know that another venture of mine is
paying off. I run coaches to nightclubs. Not quite the sort of
business you expect for someone involved in computers, but as
you can imagine, other than being a way to pay the bills, it
comes with a few bonuses!

I've therefore decided to devote the next few months to try to
get a sizeable business off the ground - and if that fails, I'll
resort to getting a job sometime next year!
CM

But you don't want to hear about me. You want to hear about me
and any accident prone journeys I happen to have partaken in
recently.

Well, as luck would have it, there was a Leeds Show a few weeks
ago. As you may know, because of the amount of stuff that gets
taken to these shows, I've hired cars for the last few, and I
booked a car to get me to Leeds. That's where the fun began.

I'd arranged to meet Colin A in Leeds at 7.30 on the Friday
night before the show - we decided to make a whole weekend of
it, rather than drive all friday night down, arrive in time for
the show and then try to stay awake into the wee small hours of
Sunday.

But I was running a little late. It was 3.30 by the time I'd got
out of Perth, so I had to 'step on it'. And step on it I did. So
much so that I missed one of my turn offs just before Glasgow.
Not only that, but because I'd driven through to Glasgow quite a
CM

few times recently, I didn't even realise I'd missed the turn
off. That is, until I was about thirty miles on. Eventually, I
managed to turn round and headed back. Only to get caught in
Glasgow's rush hour traffic!

I eventually got clear, and by 7pm I'd just got past Carlisle.
As I'd arranged to pick up the keys for where we were staying
BEFORE 7, I thought I should phone them and say I'd be a little
late. However, I had no idea how long it would take, so I said
8.15 - I figured that was how much I'd been delayed in Glasgow
for.

Unfortunately, once I got back on the road, it turns out that
Leeds was quite some distance away - lets just say, well above a
hundred miles. Luckily, I'd just been putting the finishing
touches to my time interval suspension machine and I managed to
make it to Leeds for half eight. Here's hoping the speed cameras
were out of film that night....

CM

In the pubs by 9, we managed to find quite a few nice pubs which
had lemonades capable of quenching our thirst. But then we got
to the nightclub situation, and as Colin has already relayed,
there was much sillyness involving clean trainers at the door.
It wasn't however the smartest nightclub I'd ever been in.

I think it would be safe to say it's one of the dodgiest, in
fact. We bought our drinks and then stood quietly in a corner,
making sure not to step on anyone's toes or look at their
girlfriend. Valuing our safety, we thought it prudent to leave
early, and we hailed a taxi.

Unfortunately, we couldn't remember the name of where we were
staying, the best we could do was that it was on a corner, began
with "Glen" something and was near the University. Thankfully,
we had chanced upon an educated taxi driver and he managed to
figure out where we were headed.


CM

Then he asked where we'd been. Once again, our memories failed
us on names, but we managed to give a reasonable description of
where the nightclub was.

"not TC's ??!!" he says, looking very alarmed.

"yeah - that was it" Colin answers.

"OH MY GOD!" says the taxi driver "YOU BOYS WEREN'T IN THERE
WERE YOU?? YOU'RE LUCKY TO GET OUT ALIVE!!!"

Ooops. I was retelling this story of the taxi driver who feared
for our lives to Daniel, one of the Show organisers, the next
day. He joked "wasn't TC's was it??". To which I reply, "TC's -
that's the place."

"OH MY GOD!" shouts Daniel!! "Even I wouldn't go there!!",
coming from a six foot guy, and that's wide as well as tall....

CM

I guess we'll know better next time! Apologies to any readers
who happen to be locals at "TC's" - I'm afraid we won't be going
again though!!

Then the show. Colin's already told you all about it, so I won't
bore you with details, other than to say that despite a low
attendence, it was a good show, and I think everyone enjoyed
themselves. I had the good pleasure of seeing Mr Chris White
again, and he still rants and raves every time I mention the
prospect of Lemmings II to him!!! Can't blame him really!

Then the journey back up. We went to see Allan Clarkson on the
Sunday morning to thank him for the show, and to steal some
leftover MarsBars from the show, and then I took Colin into the
train station so he could go back to Nottingham.

We were just walking into the train station when a couple of the
Spectrum guys spotted us and started chatting to us.

CM

They were saying they'd been thrown out of the B&B a couple of
hors ago and had been waiting in the train station since. This
was one oclock and their train wasn't till three. Just out of
interest I asked where they were going, and it turns out they're
going to Glasgow.

Ten minutes later, the car's even more heavily laden and me and
two Spectrum bods are speeding Northwards. It was excellent to
hear about how the Spectrum's doing, and which people are still
involved in it. Managing only to miss one turn off, and
performing a petrol stop at half way that Damon Hill would be
proud of (perhaps I should have said Jacques Villeneuve...), I
dropped the guys off just outside Glasgow at four oclock. I then
managed to get lost trying to find my way back onto the
motorway, and ended up doubling back for a couple of miles just
to make sure I was on the right road!

However, that's enough of my rambling for at least one month, I
may return next month with the high jinx from Gloucester........
JT             Another Mind-boggling Moan Section

                     By a rather tired John

Well, after stumbling across a load of my old Spectrum games
this afternoon I thought I'd try to load them up into my SAM.
When this failed (R-Type, Chase HQ and Mercenary refused to
load) I found that there was nothing more for me to do than to
go out and try to buy a decent tape recorder to help convert
some of these lost classics of yesteryear. And it is that "lost
classic of yesteryear" bit that I'm going to moan about now.

Take the SAM, for instance. Right? Now, name all the good games
available for the SAM:

             Wop Gamma, Prince Of Persia, Lemmings.

The list ends there. Okay, there are plenty of average games
available but not many really good ones. Now, look at that
little list up there and spot the only game that ISN'T a
conversion of somebody elses code. Wop Gamma. If you take Wop
JT             Moaning Old Woman, Or Good Point?

Gamma as being an unlicensed version of Boulderdash then you are
left with the fact that the SAM, in FIVE YEARS of existence has
not originated one good game!

Take a look at the Spectrum after 5 years. now, admittedly, that
machine had sold in millions and not thousands so there were
more programmers to develope on the machine. But look at the
software the Spectrum had in about 1987. Head Over Heels, Jet
Pac, Manic Miner, 3D Deathchase (one of the games that I could
get to work on my SAM today and still as good now as it ever
was!). Some seriously EXCELLENT games there! Now I don't want to
go on about how the SAM isn't getting enough games produced
because if there was stead demand for games then Software houses
would meet it but the quality of games on SAM is dismal! Don't
misinterpret what I mean by QUALITY. There are lots of well
programmed games on SAM that compete with the ST in many areas
BUT HOW MANY ORIGINAL GAMES ARE THERE ON THIS MACHINE? All the
puzzle games we have are just the same as their Speccy
counterparts but with different graphics! There isn't yet one
JT             Moaning Old Woman, Or Good Point?

decent shoot-em-up. The platform games are identical in all but
graphics to the Spectrum as are the "arcade adventures". I admit
Prince Of Persia and Lemmings both push the SAM more than any
other games (note the common link?) but even they are
conversions. Lemmings was released on the Spectrum BEFORE it was
on the SAM and Chris White got a version of Prince Of Persia up
and running on the Speccy! Licenses are fine - at least then the
programmers have to push the SAM physically but why can't there
be ORIGINAL games on the SAM that push the machine?

Maybe I am completly out of order to say all this. SAM2SAM maybe
encouraging the easy way out of games publishing by supporting
the Games Designing systems. That's true, but I am only harping
on because I think it is about time that the SAM stood up and
got counted in the real world. If that means more physically
demanding games then fine. if it means a new machine or extra
add-ons then fine also. It is about time that the SAM actually
started working to it's potential. Then, and only then, are we
the SAM owners going to be taken seriously.
JT             Moaning Old Woman, Or Good Point?

The balls in your court...

CA                       Additional...

Blimey.  That was a little strong.  But is it the opinion of
people reading?

Personally, I think there's been a lot more excellent games on
the SAM.  TnT and Legend Of Eshan spring to mind instantly
(possibly even SAM Strikes Back - I loved that game).  I think
the problem isn't quite as harsh as John makes out.  Nowadays,
it's almost impossible to come up with an original game.  On
consoles (spit) you're getting the same platformers with just
different graphics and possibly an extra feature (if you're
lucky).  The only original games I see are coming on the more
powerful machines - the Playstation (hate) and 3DO (kill).  And
this is only because they have the power to let you move in four
directions on a platformer now.

CA                    Crisis, Or Slowness?

The only way to go really, is to do what the SAM is doing
(albeit at a very slow pace).  Every once in a blue moon, we get
a conversion like Lemmings that stretches the SAM and makes us
all fall over in amazement.  Apart from that, what can
programmers do but write different versions of current games -
as seen with Wop Gamma and TnT?  If anyone out there can think
of original game plausable to write on SAM, then for God's sake,
ring FRED and tell them!

In the Next couple of months, we'll have a game that sprouted
from Spindizzy, a game that sprouted from Bomberman and a SAM
version of Elite.  To me, this is all promising, healthy stuff.
In the case of the first two, they'll be different and the
programmers will add things to make them different.  There's not
a lot more we can ask, and both games will be very welcome.  In
the case of SAm Elite, it's what people have been asking for
since the SAM was launched.  I don't see a problem.

You must have a view, so let's here it.
CA                    Fantasy FRED League

   Team Name                               Manager        Score

01 The Crashed Crusaders               Allan Clarkson       073
02 Frank Broughton Appreciation Soc.   Mark Sturdy          066
03 "Headless"                          Stefan Drissen       064
04 I'll Cheat If I Start Losing...     Colin Anderton       056
05 What's In A Name?                   A. Francis           055
06 Scotland                            Colin Macdonald      053
07 Scorpion Soft Productions Team (?)  Paul Dudley          052
08 Crikey...My Wig Is On Fire!         Andrew Chandler      051
09 Real Nice World                     Andrew Collier       049
10 Some Dead Good People               Graham Goring        040
11 Death By Electricity                Doug Young           039
12 Blue Foot United                    Stewart Skardon      039
13 Crap Games Co.                      Dean Nicholas        035
14 James Curry's Team Of SAM Wierdos   James Curry          035
15 Team Mango Chutney                  Matt Vowles          035
16 Happy Slug Productions              Tim Paveley          032
17 I Still Use My Sam, Honest..        Dave Handley         030
CA                    Fantasy FRED League

18 Children Of Satan (ahem)            Stephen McGreal      030
19 The Kick Butt Crew                  Mark Bennett         029
20 Har Har Har                         Sylvia               026
21 Sentai Power Sammers NL             Robert Van Der Veeke 022
22 NewZealandStory                     Howard Price         021

         Manager Of The Month : Paul Dudley - 20 points

This is what we all wanted to see.  Clarkson and Sturdy only
manage 4 points between them, allowing the rest of the pack to
catch up.  Drissen and Anderton race towards the top with high
18 and 19 scores.  Macdonald rightly slips down the table and
just as we thought Dudley was out of the picture, he comes
zooming out of the woodwork going up 6 places.  The bottom two
teams continue to arse about, managing a whopping 1 point
between them.  Although that point did lift Veeke off the bottom
and put Price back in a familiar position.  A nearly interesting
fact is that Vowles (15th) has got over 60% of his points from
one player.  Jammy git.
CA                            News

The latest in a line of gimmicks from mad-scientist-businessman
Macdonald is a SAM watch.  Colin's been looking into the
possibility of making a watch that will help us all remember the
SAM for years to come.  The final design isn't decided yet, but
currently the favoured idea is to have the SAM robot in the
middle (it'll be an analogue watch).  If you think it's a good
idea, please tell us because the more support, the more likely
it is to go ahead.  Also, any views on what picture and writing
should go in it would be gratefully received.

The new game from FRED Publishing, Momentum, has now been
released.  As you should know by now, it's a Spindizzy game,
which means that you control a little spinny thing and try and
guide it round the isometric map without it falling off the
edges.  It's a whoppingly big game, so should be ideal for all
those people who said they completed TnT in 5 seconds.  Order
it now from FRED for £14.99.


CA                            News

SAM Elite has been delayed slightly, but will probably be out
when you're reading this.

We've got news from the Jupiter camp this month (thanks to Terry
ambushing me at the show).  Burgular Bob is a new game released
by the Ekins brothers.  Burgular Bob is a platform collect-em-up
with 4 levels of increasing difficulty.  You play Bob, an evil
criminal whose aim in life is to steal as much stuff as possible
and store it in his garage.  So, the idea is to run around the
houses stealing various items and avoiding household pets,
security dogs and making sure the job gets done before the
police arrive.  As we would hope, you can kill the annoying
law-abiding pets simply by jumping on them.  Yuck.  Burgular Bob
is available only from Jupiter priced £4.00.  Cheques made
payable to Sir S. Ekins The 1st (joke, just S. EKINS is fine).
And write to: Jupiter Software, 2 Oswald Road, Rushden,
NORTHANTS, NN10 0LE.  And tell them FRED sent you and that
Jupiter owe me a big favour now.

CA                       Disc Contents

As you'll no doubt be aware, this issue of FRED is a bit
different.  It's called "The Big Issue" because it's got a big
program on it (hilarious title, eh?).  Don't panic - this is
only a temporary thing.  Depending on what happens in the next
couple of weeks, the next issue may be similar (I've got a
cracking game from Warren Lee which you all deserve to own) or
it may return to normal.

Screens this month is a shameless plug for Momentum, and shows
you some of the many rooms in the game.  That squiggly thing in
the top right is your life and when you play it cycles smoothly
through some colours.  A PC owner at the show was incredibly
impressed by that bit and started asking me technical questions
about it.  Which just goes to show that the game is worth buying
just for that bit alone!

Our first mammoth program is RGB Demo, by Martijn Groen!  At
last one of our beloved overseas readers makes up for Stefan
Drissen's laziness and writes a stunning program.  When you load
CA                       Disc Contents

it, you'll soon see why it's so big.  Lots of scrollies to read
too.

Big Gunz comes next from Mungus Software - or John Thrower
for short.  It's a beautifully presented game, with three
different ships to choose from and some wonderful graphics.  The
main game is a shoot-em-up, and although it may at first appear
to be a bog standard shooty game, look again.  It's got some top
bonuses like missiles which explode in a mammoth array of
colours, as well as little bubbles which chase you and stuff.
Blinding game, fella.  Cheers!

Epicentre is an adventure (yippee).  It's written on SAM
Adventue System, and it's about time we had some adventures
writen by this on FRED.  It's from our very own movie critic,
Darren Martin and it's quite big too.  I can't complete it,
that's for sure, and I was able to complete those dodgy ones of
Crash tapes.  Thanks Darren, your a top bloke.  Keep writing!

CA                       Disc Contents

Despite the fact that everything on this issue is stupendously
large, we've managed to fit a module on.  Mainly because it's
stupendously small.  However, it's the in-game music to Bubble
Bbobble, so you can't go far wrong with that!  Cheers to Stewart
Skardon for sending that in.

'The' Interview is back and this month, we've nabbed Terry Ekins
from Jupiter Software.  I'd just like to explain the title to
everyone again, because people keep coming up to me and saying,
"Why've you put apostrophes round the word the in 'The'
Interview?".  The answer is clearly to emphasise the word the.
You're supposed to say "THEEE Interview", as if it's the only
decent interview ever.  OK??

'THEEE' Show Report comes next with two Leeds show reports, one
from moi and one from Stewart Skardon.

Apologies go to Peter Andre who sent me some e-tunes that I
didn't use, because frankly they were crap.
CA                      Thanks Everyone

 GAFFER   : COLIN "Rimmer" MACDONALD                 ()
 BLOKE    : COLIN "Lister" ANDERTON                  ()
 COMPUTER : SAM "Kryten" COUPE                     ()()()
 THING    : DOBSON "The Cat"                     ()()()()()
                                             ()()()()()()()()()
And all the helpful little Skutters are...           ()
                                                     ()
     Stephen McGreal
     Martijn Groen and friends          FRED Publishing,
     Darren Martin                      [redacted]
     John Teare
     Colin Macdonald
     Peter Vinnicombe
     Stewart Skardon
     Terry Ekins
     John Thrower
     Robert Brady

                    Movie Reviews Follow ->
                          FILM REVIEWS

-James and the Giant Peach (U)
  Running time: 1hr 19mins                  Distributed by Guild
  Directed by Henry Selick (The Nightmare before Christmas)
  Stars (and voices) Joanna Lumley, Miriam Margolyes, Susan
    Sarandon,Paul Terry,Pete Posthlewaite

If  your  under  the  age  of  30 then you'll probably have been
brought up on Roald Dahl stories.So for 20 year old moi,this was
a  wide-eyed  trip back to my childhood.The classic story (admit
it,this  is one of your favorites) is brought to the cinema with
a mix of live action and stop-motion/computer animation.

I  am  not  going to describe the plot,if you don't know it then
you  should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself as to not know the
wonderous  stories  of  the British institution that is Mr.Dahl.
Although  not  having  read  the story for a long time I believe
that  the  cinema  story  has  some  new plot points,including a
mechanical  shark  attack and a north pole adventure,adding even
more to a truly magical story.
The mix of live action and stop motion animation is not executed
with  some  dodgy  super-imposing  but by clearly separating the
sequences.Out of the peach in the 'real' world it is live action
with  Joanna  Lumley  and  Miriam  Margolyes  as  James's(Terry)
hideous  slave-driving  aunties.But  when  James climbs into the
peach  it  all  becomes  stop-motion and computer animation in a
very similar style to The Nightmare Before Christmas.This is not
suprising  since  Selick  also  directed TNBC,plus JATGP has the
infamous  Tim Burton as an executive producer who also had major
contributions to TNBC.

The   animation   is   flawless  and  the  voices  are  supplied
wonderfully,including  Susan Sarandon as the spider,Pheobe Gates
(Daphne  from  Frasier)  as the Ladybug and Richard Dreyfuss and
Simon Callow.

My only major gripe with this film was some of the dodgy singing
which I knew to expect but I still cringed at it.

Rating: 8/10 (If you can get past your false macho:"I'm not
              watching a kids U cartoon!")

-Independence Day (PG)
  Running time: 2hrs 25 mins     Distributed by 20th Century Fox
  Directed by Roland Emmerich (Stargate)
  Stars Bill Pulman,Will Smith,Jeff Goldblum

Out of a possible 21 screens from the closest two multiplexes to
my  house,around  half  were  devoted  to  this  film! And after
watching  it  all I can say is: What a waste of screen space.The
biggest  film  of  all time with over $200 million so far? Well,
I'm  sorry to quash the bed wetting hype, but it doesn't deserve
that title.

Okay,  so the special effects are heart-stoppingly terrifying as
the  shadows  created  by the 5 mile wide ships creep across the
cityscapes.But  there  is  no  real  plot.There  are much better
"aliens  invade  earth,we  fight  back"  films  around with more
convincing  stories.The  shallow  characters with teeth grinding
cliched lines just make an empty film even emptier.

Bill Pulman as the president is the most convincing but even his

lines  deteriorate  towards the end.Jeff Goldblum is stuck again
as  the lone scientist and seems a little lost around the superb
comedy  attributes of Will Smith whom is completely out of place
in this movie.

ID4  would have been much better if the comedy had been replaced
with  darkness.And  the  american patriotism thats crammed in to
bursting point will probably make you ill.A landmark for special
effects  makes  this  a visually spectacular film that will look
ridiculous on video,but it is dissapointingly hollow.

Rating: 7/10 (You must watch it at the cinema)









-Eraser (18)
  Running time: 2 hrs                Distributed by Warner Bros.
  Directed by Charles Russell (The Mask)
  Stars Arnold Scwarzenagger,Vanessa Williams,James Caan

The  bicep  busting,ass  kicking,restaurant owning,cigar chewing
Austrian  is  back  in a stunt filled pyrotechnic piece of silly
tom-foolery.

Arnie plays US Marshall John Kruger who erases peoples existence
as  part  of a witness protection scheme.A lone man who works in
the  shadows  and  completely  devoted to his job, he is plunged
into  grave danger when he is assigned the erasure of Lee Cullen
(Williams)  who  is  involved in exposing the illegal arms sales
that  exists within her company.Inevitably this evokes the wrath
of many influential people,and Kruger and Cullen find themselves
framed and chased by every other man with a gun.

The  film  surges along with explosive force,using countless set
pieces  and  some rather tasty special-effects.But it is nothing

new,and  it  seems  that  the  presence of Hollywood heavyweight
Schwarzenegger  is  the  only  reason  that this movie didn't go
straight  to  video.The  timing  of  its  release has not helped
coming in the shadow of much better summer blockbusters.

The  scary  thing  about  this film is that you can start to see
that Arnie is getting old and begs the question: how long can he
keep  making  the  action  movies that we all know and love.(The
latest edition of Empire had a despicable article that tore into
the  great  man  himself and had the audacity to say that Arnies
crowning  moment,the  best  non-Bond  Bond  film,True  Lies, was
"Truly horrid").

Rating: 6/10







-Phenomenon (PG)
  Running time: 2hrs                  Distributed by Buena Vista
  Directed by Jon Turteltaub (While You Were Sleeping)
  Stars John Travolta,Kyra Sedgewick,Forest Whitaker,Robert
      Duvall

It  seems that director Jon Turteltaub likes his sentiment to be
waist  deep,since  what  should  be  an excellent film drowns in
forced tears and sobbing.

Travolta plays George Malley in a sleepy American town where his
life flows along merrily with his many friends and easy life. It
is  on  his  37th  birthday while gazing at the stars that he is
struck down by UFO type lights.It soon becomes apparent that his
intelligence  is  increasing at a rate of knots.And accompanying
this  are  some  powers  of  telekinesis.With doctor(Duvall) and
close  friends  astounded he begins solving scientific mysteries
while trying to win the heart of Sedgewick and her kids.But fear
becomes  the better of his friends and people begin to turn away
from him.

Travolta is superb as the kindly nice guy as his world begins to
change  around  him  but  still  remaining  down-to-earth.And he
carries  the  film  extremely  convincingly  through a film that
becomes  dissappointingly  unconvincing as it proceeds.The first
hour and a half is brilliant,but when the final revelation comes
the sentiment is unloaded in truck fulls.

Rating: 7/10

Letters & Reviews

                  Letter From Stephen McGreal

Oy! You complete *******! (self censoring letter!)

    I thought there was something fishy.  Children of Satan fell
11 places in FFL league despite the fact that most of my team
members seemed to be scoring (reasonably) nicely.  I shrugged,
and thought nothing of it until, that is, I got FRED 72.  I
looked at my score in the FRED 69 FFL program using the data
from FRED 72, and realised that I (in my team) had only scored 2
points and John (also in my team) had scored none!

    I realised that when I sent you the stuff to use in FRED
(you put it all on FRED 70), you hadn't realised that Mungus
Software is in fact, John and I.  Although your decision is
meant to be final sorta thing, here is the revised version of
the points as they stand after FRED 72.

Stephen McGreal : 6 points for Wabbitz (Slot G, FRED 70)
                  3 points for Sim Brick (Bits, FRED 70)
                  2 points for a letter in FRED 70
                  Letter From Stephen McGreal

John Thrower    : 1 point for an assist on Wabbitz

This would take Children of Satan to number four in the league,
higher if you decide to award compensation (say, 5 points?), and
another 2 if you use this letter.

    On a lighter and strangely coincidental note, I'm currently
listening to the Ozric Tentacles.  Bizarre, eh?  Unless you
forgot the last letter.  I wrote some lyrics which a mate of
mine is turning into a song, you know.  He plays in a band
called PMT and my song is called Russian Roulette.  I love Pink
Floyd, old though they may be (well, are).

    I got stranded in London for two days with John, you know.
With two hideous girls.  I've heard War of The Worlds (the
verision with German dialogue) on a vinyl record type thing.

    So, how are you?  Fine, good.  Nice to hear it.  Great
kneecaps, it'd be a shame to lose them by messing around with my
                  Letter From Stephen McGreal

other FFL players.  Not a threat, just a warning.  If you want
to know what I'm talking about, ask John.  I was going to learn
assmembly, but when I saw David Zambonini's bit in Mnemodemo II,
I just felt like crying or swearing a lot (I opted for the
latter in the end, oh, and drooling).  David, if you're reading
this letter (which means they were silly enough to print this
bit of the letter), you don't know me, but you've gained another
fan.

    Whaddaloada drivel this is.

    Hmm... time for a bit of a letter which will be printed and
get me more points now (obsessed?  Me?  No!).  Sorry it's not on
a SAM disk, just plain ol' A4, I'm genuinely so skint that I
can't afford anything like the SAM typey thing you said was on
FRED60 at the moment.  [That's OK, I can't wait to get
full-blown RSI - CA]

    Firstly, FRED: My only criticism, which I think other people
                  Letter From Stephen McGreal

might have but has not seemed to be mentioned in the letters
page.  FRED is supposedly a disk magazine, yet the amount of
news and articles is unbearably tiny.  Partly, this is due to
LAZY READERS (get up off you posteriors like wot Colin says!
Please, you do it, I can't be bothered - which is every SAM
owners attitude), but partly because you fail to print much news
apart from FRED releases and SAM show dates.  Don't you get news
from other SAM companies?  If not, why not?  Or do you not print
it or something?  Something should be done so that people can
trust FRED to bring them news instead of relying on mags like
Zodiac.  It's be good to hear other readers' views.

    Secondly, someone did a FRED72 article about why there are
no games on the SAM.  I beg to differ.  There are.  There are
many SAM games, many, many SAM software companies, just
seemingly no interest.  Okay, so bit companies like Ocean and US
Gold don't do stuff for SAM, but it isn't just FRED and
Revelation, there's Jupiter, Saturn, Mungus Software (plug,
plug!) and, ooh, all those other ones.  Besides Lemmings and a
                  Letter From Stephen McGreal

few Spectrum conversions there aren't many games from other
formats, but SAM owners should enjoy the really good games that
are individual to SAM.

    Having said that, SAM is constantly on the brink of dying.
SAM owners are all pretty bizarre (no offence anybody!).  Nobody
seems interested in trying new things, like changing their
magazines, or trying out software companies other than FRED, and
Revelation.  Speaking for me and some of the other people I've
spoken to, nobody seems interested im much that goes on in the
SAM world.  Take the Quazar surround for instance: it's got an
absolutely massive amount of software support, that's ignoring
the fact that the sound qality is 4096 timers better than SAM
sound!  I really don't understand why some people choose not to
buy it.  If you support it, it'll grow, you'll get the
satisfaction of your money many times over because all companies
will support it, and it turns out good for everyone.  And
obviously, it's not the only example.  Just supporting other
software companies (if you like their games!), rather than
                  Letter From Stephen McGreal

sticking to the ones you've bought stuff from before will
eventually give everyone so much more choice than they already
have, and that can't be bad.  People have to take an interest in
stuff for it to work, and that's why SAM software is struggling.
People think there are no new games because they ignore them,
and eventually the new games die and go away, leaving only the
older games in their place.  So listen carefully, fellow SAMers:
It's up to YOU to buy games, write magazine articles, send
contributions to FRED, and support all aspects of SAM hardware
and software.  There's a lot of good stuff out there.  SAM is a
great community to be in, but in the changing times of PCs and
the even more powerful consoles, it's everyone's responsibility
to do their bit.  If you areN't prepared to put anything into
SAM, you can never get anything out of it, and you're better off
with a different machine.

Right, bye then.         Stephen McGreal,
(of Mungus Software, and Children Of Satan.  Remember the
kneecaps thing)
                   Reply To Stephen McGreal

Well, that's told me.  How wrong of me to botch up your Fantasy
FRED League points.  It's your own fault, anyway, for not
telling us who MungusSoft was, and especially for not telling me
that you'd had help with your programs.  And as for getting
compensation points... well, you deserve points taken off for
being so cheeky.  I don't know, whatever happened to manners,
eh?

I'll have a look at the situation, and if you're not cheating
(and I've noticed you'll do anything for FFL points), then I'll
amend the points.  I'm not sure about the John Thrower assist
though, sounds dodgy to me.

Of course I remember your letter about The Ozrics.  Did I tell
you my mate's girlfriend had a flute lesson from a guy in the
Ozrics?

If you like Pink Floyd, talk to BigMac.  He's a huge fan.

CA                 Reply To Stephen McGreal

The information bit is a problem, I've noticed this for a long
time.  The problem isn't that we won't print it.  The problem is
that I rarely see any new stuff from anyone.  I got Dean
Nicholas to review PD because I wasn't getting any updates.
Although it sounds strange, we simply don't get information from
companies other than Revelation & Crashed on a regular basis.
At the last show, I had to go around and ask the companies for
information on latest releases because no-one came up to me and
presented me with any.  When the biggest SAM disc mag is only 6
foot away, you'd expect them to give us all the information they
can instantly, wouldn't you?

Anyway, I've now got lots of information and can only remind
companies that they won't get coverage unless they make the
effort.  And that doesn't mean sending the same thing ten times
- I'm not writing about the same program unless there's
something else about it that was unmentioned.


CA                 Reply To Stephen McGreal

Thanks for your views on SAM software - my own view is closer to
yours than to John's, but I still differ on some stuff.  At
least I'm beginning to acheive what I wanted - articles that are
creating some response and conversation.

The problem with Quazar is that people (and you can't blame
them) are very wary of spending £50 on something that only
improves sound quality.  Before I get slagged off to high
Heaven, I know that it brings a lot of enjoyment, and it is VERY
impressive and Colin Piggot has created a lot of software for
it, but the underlying point is expense.  I sincerely believe
that Colin Piggot deserves a lot more sales considering the
effort he put in, but we'll need to see wider use of the Quazar
if it's to sell better.

As for contributions to FRED - I think you all know where I
stand on that!


                 Letter From Peter Vinnicombe

Dear FRED,

    Please find enclosed a disk with some stuff on it for you to
use in your magazine.  I'm afraid to say that this is the last
you'll hear from me, as I have decided to leave the SAM scene.

    The fact is, I just haven't got the time anymore to use my
trusty SAM, and as I was feeling a bit guilty I had to give you
all my programs that have actually been finished!!

    Thanks for all the fame, and all the wonderful issues of
FRED you've managed to produce, and I hope you carry on
supporting the SAM, for the wonderfully friendly machine it is!

                             Bye!

                           Peter V.


CA                 Reply To Peter Vinnicombe

We'll be sorry to see you go, Peter, especially as you're a
well-known name here at FRED due to the fact that you program
stuff for us.

Keep in touch, and if you come to your senses again, we'll be
only to glad to provide you with the issues of FRED you missed!

Don't worry readers, we'll get him back when we do another
newsletter!  No problem!










                   Letter From Robert Brady

Dear Colin,

    Hello.On the PC disk is various stuff, including the next
eight parts of The Useless Ones.  These are shorter, but as you
split the first part into two, this is probably a good idea.

    Incidentally, in slot E of FRED 71, no mention is given to
NEWFRED.DCP - this is needed for Freds since about issue 51.
Older Freds need FRED.DCP.  The new version of FRED.EXE
autodetects better as well.

                       Yours sincerely,

                         Robert Brady





CA                   Reply To Robert Brady

Thanks for clearing that up Robert.  Issue 51 was my first, and
I'm sure all the readers would be devastated to find that they
couldn't read my editorials!  I hope they know what's going on
now.















                   Letter From Darren Martin

Dear Colin,

Please find enclosed a disk containing some more reviews of
Mulholland Falls, A Time To Kill and Striptease.

I hope this one makes the deadline; either I keep missing the
deadline or you don't like me anymore!

                                  D. Martin

CA                  Reply To Darren Martin

Thanks for the reviews - I don't know why I appear to have
missed your reviews out.  Although I must admit, this is nearly
the first disc I've received off you where the shutter hasn't
broken in the post!

And how could I not like someone who's nearly got the same name
as Debbie Martin from Neighbours?  Ho ho ho.
SS                      Momentum Review

Momentum, the new FRED release eh. I have to say here and now
that I overheard Colin A saying he was going to review this
amazing new game, but I thought that he might be just a little
biased.  [You'll be hearing from my lawyers for that - CA]

So I've taken it upon myself to do a review for him, that way
we all get complete honesty.  [You'll go down for years - CA]

In itself, momentum is a Spindizzy clone, although it has a lot
of unique features to it. Firstly, there's the loading screen
which changes colour each time you load the game, and on top of
that, the screen is actually interlaced, which makes it look
even better.

The graphics in the actual game are superb, all in a 3d view,
and just bursting with colour. I did feel that a bit more
attention could have been paid to the main sprites, but that's
just a minor detail.

SS                      Momentum Review

At first, I found the game absolutely impossible to control.
Press a key and then you get the complete opposite.

It does take a great deal of getting used to, so if you are a
short tempered person, I would arrange a few counselling
sessions prior to playing the game for the first time.

Nevermind, within 3 games, I'd got the hang of it, so I'm sure
that you will pick it up even quicker, after all my mental age
is about half of my physical age. And no, I won't tell you how
old I am.

The aim of the game is to pick up 365 'eggs' which I'm afraid to
say look more like golf balls, which are spread throughout 152
different screens, all featuring a different confusing layout.

And the best thing is, all is not what it seems.
Objects that you might want to pass under, are sometimes in your
way.
SS                      Momentum Review

This all adds to a really good gameplay, and what makes things
even better is the simple fact that you can save your position.

Very useful when it get's to that "If I go any further today
I'll pull my hair out" stage. It's good not to have to start
from the very beginning of the game again. Brilliant!

The game is going to keep people frustrated for ages, and it's
certainly not going to be one of those play it for while and
then shove it on the shelf games, that's for sure.

As I've said before, the graphics in game could be a little
bit more detailed, but that's just a minor thing, and it doesn't
really ruin the game play. It's just me being a pain.

If you haven't bought it yet, or are not at least thinking about
buying it, then shame on you. You'll soon regret it.

There. Is that OK Colin? Cheque's in the post is it? Cheers.

Show Report

CA                     And Here It Is...

As if by magic (as they say in Mr. Ben) there's a show report,
just as I predicted.  Might as well tell you the whole kaboodle,
because it's quite entertaining (which is strange for me
really).

After each computer show, Colin, me and anyone else who decides
to tag along go out that night and stay in a B&B.  These nights
usually end up as disasters because we didn't bring smart
trousers or Colin's very patriotic Scottish friends show how
much they love English people and get us thrown out or we go for
a curry and it's rubbish.  Just little things like that tend to
follow us about.

So this year, we thought we'd stay 2 nights!  The plan was to
get to Leeds on Friday afternoon, go out Friday night to work
the place out and test lots of drinks and go out on Saturday
night when we've got some sort of idea of what's going on.  Oh,
and we might go to the show on Saturday if we're not too
hungover.
CA                        Show Report

I was quite chuffed with these new arrangements because it meant
that I didn't have to get up really early in the morning and
probably miss my train and turn up late.  So at about midday, I
woke up and packed my bags, then scuttled off to the train
station.  I then found out my student railcard ran out the day
before and had to fork out for a new one.  I bought a magazine
and went and sat on the station.

The train ride was mildly amusing with someone collapsing really
close to me (probably in awe of my good looks, but the doctors
reckoned it was heart trouble).  That delayed the train journey
but perked up a boring few hours where all I did was work out
interview questions (I forgot the paper anyway, so that was a
complete waste of time).

I got to Leeds at about 5:00pm, and caught a taxi from the
station, because I had no idea where to go.  Allan Clarkson,
show organiser, walked straight past us when we were stopped and
despite my shouting, didn't respond.  The taxi driver thought I
CA                Oh, Oh, Oh, We Love The Show

was a complete nutter.

I cleverly arrived at the B&B ten minutes before I was due to
meet Colin Macdonald there, and watched telly for an hour and a
half waiting for him.  He goes on about me being late with
issues of FRED and then does that.  The kettle calling the pot
black (or some similar crap phrase).

This night out was predictably unsuccesful, with numbers of pubs
and nearly every club telling us to go away because I was
wearing trainers.  In the end we had to go to some really dodgy
club and even then I was told to clean my trainers in the sink
in McDonalds.  Talk about humiliation.  There was a bloke
covered in blood coming out the club when we went in too.  And
the beer was bad.  The taxi driver at the end of the night
couldn't believe we'd made it out alive.

The next morning, we were woken up by a really snotty woman who
demanded we go down for breakfast.  Half an hour later, we fell
CA                2,4,6,8, SAM Shows Are Great

down the stairs and attempted "eating".  Then it was off to the
show, only to be moaned at by everyone for being the last to
turn up.  I call it perfect timing.

The show itself had all the old regulars - FORMAT (selling on
behalf of FORMAT and Revelation), FRED (naturally), Crashed,
Jupiter, Zodiac and Persona, as well as quite a large number of
Speccy people.  The day was pretty slow, although successful
enough for FRED to warrant a come back next time.

The main thing on show was clearly Momentum from FRED.  A
version was up and running on one of the FRED computers, so
people gathered round, oooh-ed and aah-ed and then bought a
copy.  Some young kid sat playing it all day, the little
bleeder.

Also on show for a little while was a playable but early version
of Kaboom!, the Bomberman game from Wayne Coles.  Colin and I
had a couple of games on that and naturally, I thrashed the
CA               1,3,5,7, SAM Shows Are Heaven

pants off him.  It's looking really promising and I can't wait
to get my hands on it at the Gloucester show.

Cunningly placed by the door was Crashed, the organisers of the
show.  Crashed (or as I prefer to call them, the change machine)
were flogging back issues of Crashed as well as T-shirts and the
very latest issue.  Their main role of the day was to provide
FRED with change at regular intervals.  Ho ho.

Moving along, we had a number of Speccy companies, including one
guy with a Romanian Speccy.  Wierd stuff.  It was a bit
surprising to see that very good games are still being written
for the Speccy, though I don't know what happens to them after
they're written - whether the writer just enjoys them (bit
pointless) or they're sold or circulated is beyond me.

Some lads had a video digitiser for the Spectrum running and
took great enjoyment in pointing the video camera at everyone
who moved.
CA       One million and fifty nine, SAM Shows Are Fine

Next up, we had a rather good refreshments stand where anyone
who came along was able to pick up coffee, tea, crisps, choclate
bars and dozens of other goodies.  Colin MacD went there to buy
him and me a piece of cake each.  He ate them both.  Apparently
they were really nice.

Following the refreshments stand was a fire door, which we had
no hesitation in plastering with dozens of FRED adverts.
Hurrah!

FORMAT and Revelation were next up.  This time only Bob was
there, mainly because Jenny was trying to produce more issues of
FORMAT.  Bob gave me some stick because he'd had an earful from
Jenny because I forgot to mention her in my last show report.
Women, eh?  Well, Jenny, chew on this...




CA                I Hope This Makes Her Happy
                                          by Colin Anderton

                     Jenny works at FORMAT,
                    She's Bobby's underling,
                    Bob gets all the credit,
                    But Jen does everything.

                    She's got a tiny office,
                   Right next door to Bob's,
            That's where she sits and works all day,
                      Doing the hard jobs.

                  We like Jen 'cos unlike Bob,
                 She sits down and reads FRED,
              I can't pay money, but if she wants,
                  She can work for me instead.




CA                      Sorry About That

Now that's out the way, maybe I can get on.

FORMAT was selling back issues as usual and Revelation had their
wide range of software nicely stacked and presented.  I was
particularly fond of the blue table cloth Bob had.  Anyway, Bob
was busy talking computers to some blokes, so I carried on.

Andrew Collier was the next person I recognised.  He was running
the Zodiac/Zedd-Soft stand because Michael Stocks was in Peru
(or something).  He was mainly selling their new game, Conquest,
as mentioned in last month's FRED.  Unfortunately, Mr. Collier
being Mr. Collier wasn't too keen on giving me free stuff, so
we'll never know what Conquest is like (unless someone sends in
a review, or Zodiac come to their senses and post a review
copy).  Zodiac also had back issues, little packs of games and a
collection of discs from their PD library.

Did I just hear a PC sound sample?  No, it can only be Quazar.
Colin Piggot was at the show as always with his trusty Quazar
CA                   Free Plugs All Round!

package.  Now selling for £53.99, lower than what it started as,
Colin played me some more samples, moaned at me for not giving
Qquazar enough airplay in FRED and showed me what was new.  The
most impressive of the stuff I saw was Quazar Studio - a full
sample editing studio.  I wanted to see Super Byke - a
lightcycles game, but if I did, I'd be playing that all day and
I had to get round to Jupiter.

Terry Ekins was propping up the Jupiter stand, showing off their
new game Burgular Bob, previewed in the news section.  Terry
also gave me a copy of Chess to review, seeing as MacD didn't
review it 6 months ago.  I had a look at some Amalthea 2 screens
which were slowly being put into Jupiter's biggest game yet.  We
also sneaked off later to do an interview, which may well find
its way into FRED soon.

Persona were next, but I didn't spend too much time there,
because I don't know Malcolm and it looked pretty boring anyway
(cor, I'll get moans for that).  Persona were selling
CA                Show Me The Way To Go Home..

ex-Revelation games and issues of Blitz.

Simon Cooke was also there.  He had issue two of BOAI, the
technically minded SAM paper-based magazine.  "Crikey," I
thought, "he HAS done another issue.  I eat my words, I take it
all back."  It's another bloody good issue as well, except I
didn't get the freebie sweet that came with it (sob).  This
issue has a Mouse Interface guide (part two), a MSDOS article,
instruction timings (machine code I think) and more SAM
Accelerator news, as well as editorial and news items.  Oh, and
they've got a NEW address: [redacted] 
B.O.A.I is £2.00.  Boy, Simon and Martin
owe me for all these plugs I'm giving them even though I didn't
get a free sweetie.

Andrew Collier kept going on at me to buy a copy of Conquest.

There was also a bring and buy stand, and this seemed to be
doing more business than everyone else!
CA                     I Don't Believe It

That bloke who hates me (better known as Victor Meldrew) was
there spouting rubbish again.  You'll be surprised to know he
doesn't subscribe to FRED any more.  I just humoured him for a
bit and pointed him in MacD's direction.  Ho ho.

Stewart "Moneybags" Skardon was there, and once again he won the
'Who can spend most money at the FRED stand' award!  That's a
hat trick now.  Expect a show report/review from him soon.

Andrew Collier kept going on at me to buy a copy of Conquest.

A Spectrum owner came up to me in the middle of the day and
demanded to know why SAMs were better than Spectrums!  What on
earth was I supposed to say?  If only I'd anticipated this and
had a speech ready.  Anyway, I brought him over to the FRED
stand where Momentum was on one computer and Lemmings on the
other and said, "Just look."  That did the trick, I think.

Sales began to pick up later on in the day, especially when
CA                        Show Report

Skardon turned up (the gullible fool).  All you have to say is,
"Cor look, that program comes in a pretty plastic bag" and he
buys it.

Andrew Collier kept going on at me to buy a copy of Conquest.

As the day passed on, people kept coming and going, I managed to
get an interview with Terry Ekins from Jupiter, as well as
getting a free drink from the woman at the cafeteria and
managing to upset Andrew Collier by mistaking him for Colin
Piggot.

At ten past four, some caretaker bloke started ranting on about
us going.  This was much to my amusement, so I had a good
chuckle.  That didn't go down well, and he shouted at me for a
bit.  "What a funny old man," I thought as he went on.

Then we went to the pub (yippee).  Mark Sturdy was asking deep
questions about West Coast Computers, so I moved onto the other
CA                     The Aftermath....

table wher we began an intrigueing conversation about beer.

Then we retired back to our Bed and Breakfast to count money and
prepare ourselves for a wild (and hopefully more successful)
night out in Leeds.

This time, we had a guide in the form of Allan Clarkson, Crashed
editor.  He's from Leeds, so he took us to a different part of
the city.  This time, it worked a little better - pubs bustling
with students (apart from one which was full of old women
looking for toy boys - we made a quick departure from there).
Half way through our little pub crawl, Colin had to make a dash
towards a bin to "take a breather".  Then after closing time, we
headed for a club called "Europa" or something similar.  It was
a huge club, and really good (but darn expensive).  We moved
onto bottles of beer, safe in the knowledge that no-one would
try and ram them in our throats, and safe in the knowledge that
a good night was ahead of us.

CA                      Until Next Time

The next recollection is the stupid woman at the bed and
breakfast telling us to get up because, and I quote her, "it was
already ten to nine".  A few curses later, and I made it
downstairs to breakfast, only to sit opposite a really strange
foreign chap who I couldn't understand.  Colin didn't make it
down to breakfast, deciding that an extra half an hour in bed
was much more satisfying than a few greasy sausages.

Then we departed.  We said goodbye to Allan, nicked some Mars
Bars and made our way to the station.

Needless to say, I slept all the way home.

----------------------------------------------------------------

And now turn over to read an unbiased (sigh) review of the show,
by roving reporter, Stewart Skardon (written on his brand new
copy of Outwrite which I sold him - hurrah!).....

SS                      NSSS Show Report

Well, what can I say. What a cracker of a show arranged by the
one and only Allan Clarkson (see, I said I'd mention you!).

Of course, it would have been nice if I could have spent a
little longer at the show itself, but the event's that I saw in
my 2 hours there (yes that's right! It took ages to get there.)
were rather interesting/silly/shocking.

Firstly, to my disgust, everybody obviously assumed that I
wasn't going to go to the NSSS, for upon my arrival, I
immediately observed that the strict code of dress sense had
been completely dropped. The 2 Colin's were both
inapropriately  dressed for the occasion, Colin M not wearing
a kilt (but then again, would you with those legs?), and Colin
A not wearing the obligatory FRED jumper. Tut tut lads.  [My
jumper was in the car, but it was too hot! - CA]

Of course, I made history by becoming the first person to spend
the most at the FRED stall for three show's in a row.
SS                        Still Awake?

I expect my award in the post any day now Colin.

Colin A was also over the moon when I purchased a copy of
Outwrite.

"Hurrah! I won't have to convert his text files to 63 columns
any more." I hear Colin say.  [I second that! - CA]

The FORMAT / West Coast / Revelation "Hang on, this is sus"
stall just wasn't the same without Jenny, shame she couldn't
make it really.

Swiftly moving on, there were a couple of Speccy stalls, one of
which had a Speccy video digitiser on show, not that it's much
good mentioning that in a SAM disk mag. (Or should that be
Disc?). Dunno, but let's not start that argument in this mag.

Lot's of people came up to me thrusting things in to my hands
(ooooerrr!), desperately trying to sell me their products.
SS                      Sales pitches.

Andrew Collier made an extra special, desperate attempt to try
and flog me a copy of Conquest, the new game from ZEDD-Soft....

"Oh go on. I'll mention you in ALL of my scrollies."

Sorry Andrew, but I don't get persuaded that easily. Tempting
though.

Colin 'I've dropped the G' Piggot was there, selling his Quazar
Surround hardware, and the new sampler module.
Although there wasn't much going on like there normally is at
a Gloucester show at his stall. It was actually disturbingly
quiet.

Perhaps he had a headache or something. He did seem a little
happier that there wasn't a tall bloke with a strange Australian
Netherland type accent walking around asking "Would you like to
buy a SAMDAC?" Can't think why though, can you?

SS                 Am I taking the P too much?

And how could I leave out the really 'impressive' Flexibase
Services, with Flexipage, the teletext type thing that just
makes a complete mockery of the SAM's graphical capabilities.
Sure they sold tons of copies of that (NOT).

Persona were also there, selling their wide range of products,
including a new disc mag called Blitz! which I must highly
recommend getting as well as FRED. The first 2 issues aren't
bad actually. And don't forget the excellent Ice Chicken.
Arrrgh. I can't stop playing it.

Steve's Software had actually buggered off hours before I
arrived, so I didn't get a chance to check out the latest
version of SC Word Pro, which I would have liked to have done.
Never mind. He'd better stay longer at the Gloucester show.

Jupiter Software were there with their book about programming in
SAM C. Arrrgh S*@#. No money left. I'll get it soon though.

SS                      I'm nearly done.

There was a noticeable lack of Derek Morgan and the video
digitiser at the show. Where are you Derek? Let us know how the
project is progressing PLEASE!

Naturally at this point I had looked at all of the stalls, and
then took my usual place at the FRED stand talking to both
the Colin's about my top secret project, and then having a
discussion about why on earth I decided to colour my hair bright
orange for the show. (Yes that was me with the orange bits.)

Then we were chased out of the hall at about ten past four, by
some strange caretaker bloke.

We couldn't understand a word he said, laughed at him and
packed up. Colin A got a bit of a blasting from him, which
sounded something like "It ain't forney yer kno'. Bugger orf"

And naturally we headed for the nearest pub.

SS                 This is where the fun begins

Sitting in the pub, we got ever so engrossed in deep and
meaningful conversations about who left what company, and when.

All of this useful information came from a reliable(?) source
in the form of Mark Sturdy.

Shortly after which we (E.G the 2 Colin's, Mark Bennett, Allan
Clarkson and Myself) all quickly downed the remains of our
pint's, oh sorry Allan's T-Total (Lier!). Well the rest of us
did anyway, and we then set off at extremely high speed towards
Leeds, where I was catching my coach home in 20 minutes.

Phew, close shave. I just made it, and was just in time to see
a fellow show goer getting on the coach.

Well blow me. Someone else from down south at the show. That's
a first isn't it.


SS                      FRED Exclusive

Look out for the amazing interview with me that was taped in
the car on the way back to Leeds, which ended up being a
slagging match between four people.

And remember folk's, you heard it here first - The news at FRED


Colin MacDonald buy's three people a drink. (Bong!)*
Stewart Skardon vow's to dye hair blue for Gloucester (Bong!)
Colin Anderton makes promise to get FRED back on time (Bong!)


*Sorry Colin, I'm only kidding, and cheers for the pint!


 /tewart                        Oh, and by the way Colin M
 \                              Get Worms converted for the SAM!
 /kardon

Interview: Terry Ekins

CA                         Interview

COLIN : Right, are you Steve or Terry?

TERRY : Terry.

COLIN : Where did it all begin?

TERRY : It all began back in 1989 when I bought my first SAM
        and it didn't have any software for it, so we thought
        we'd have a go at doing some ourselves.  We wrote
        Translator first, which is a French dictionary.  We sent
        it over to Colin [Macdonald] who said something about
        publishing it but then changed his mind.  We then sent
        it down to FORMAT who said the disks didn't work, so
        they sent it back.  Then we gave up on it until about a
        year later and then we started dabbling about with other
        stuff.  We wrote a couple of good games.  Then SCADs
        came out, so we got that.  Gamesmaster came out, got
        that as well.  Decided SCADs was better and it all
        started there basically.  Wrote a couple of games in
CA                         Interview

        SCADs...

COLIN : That was for SAM2SAM wasn't it?

TERRY : Yeah, wrote a couple for them 'coz theirs were crap
        basically.  Edit that bit out.

COLIN : Erm, OK...

TERRY : Wrote four games which were Muncher and Invaders and two
        others I can't remember.  Erm, Labyrinth and something.
        I don't know.



TERRY : That was at the second Gloucester show that we had
        those.  So we just kept on building our software
CA                         Interview

        library...

COLIN : To what is is today!

TERRY : Yeah, to what it is today - mammoth.

COLIN : So were you a BASIC programmer before SCADs?

TERRY : Yeah, dabbled a bit.  I mean, you need to know BASIC
        before you can do SCADS really.

COLIN : Why have you never taken machine code up?  Or have you?

TERRY : No.  Erm, no.  We got the Lerm assembler, which turned
        out to be a Spectrum assembler with an emulater, so we
        sent it back and haven't touched it again.  There's too
        many one's and zero's in it for my liking!  So we left
        that.

CA                         Interview

COLIN : And what about SAM C, because you've messed around in
        that?

TERRY : Well, we wrote a book for SAM C, it's called
        "Programming In SAM C" if anyone hasn't bought it.

COLIN : Plug time!

TERRY : It's only a fiver.  Cheques to S. Ekins.  Cash to me.
        We wrote the manual for SAM Vision as well, which is
        published by FRED.  Very good.  I'll plug that as well,
        get our 10%!



COLIN : Who does all the programming, you or Steve [Ekins]?

CA                         Interview

TERRY : Well, Steve did most of the work in the early programs.
        He did about the first six games, but then I started
        taking over as he started his uni course so I wrote
        Burgular Bob and a fair bit of Amalthea 2.  I'm
        designing all the levels for Amalthea 2 as well.  I did
        all the graphics for everything, apart from the ones
        Steve [Pick] did, which are a lot better than mine,
        admittedly.

COLIN : Who's best then?

TERRY : Steve's definitely the better programmer, but he can't
        draw to save his life.  Although some people say I do
        stuff better than him.  Especially converting stuff from
        PC games.

COLIN : So you were one of the first people to own a SAM?

TERRY : I got one of the first ones.  It was just a 256K with
CA                         Interview

        tape.

COLIN : Ooh, the dreaded tape!  And why did you buy a SAM?

TERRY : Erm, because of the 128 colours.  That's a lot,
        basically.  We saw it advertised in early issues of
        Crash magazine, or as it turned out the last few issues
        of Crash magazine.  It also had a nice bouncing robot
        thingy on the page.

COLIN : Yeah, that was good.

TERRY : Yeah, I like that.

COLIN : So, were you an early subscriber to FRED?

TERRY : Not really, no.  I did order all the back issues, so
        I've got every one...

CA                         Interview

COLIN : Have you got Best Of FRED?

TERRY : No, no.

COLIN : You've not got the Best Of?

TERRY : Why do I need the Best Of when I've got them all?

COLIN : To have the best items, all there on one glorious disc
        with a lot of FRED logos flying down the screen on the
        menu.

TERRY : Sounds very erotic.

COLIN : When did you start reading FRED then?

TERRY : Erm, issue 28-ish.  Pretty early.

COLIN : So you're subscriber 0684.
CA                         Interview

TERRY : Am I?

COLIN : I don't know.  It's a guess.

TERRY : Oh.  Could be right.  Yes, that's right.  Well
        remembered!  Ha haa!

COLIN : How do you think FRED has progressed?  And I've got some
        boiling hot coffee here, mate.

TERRY : It's gone downhill since the new editor.  It's going
        along nicely.  You've had some good demos on your last
        few issues which I like reading the scrollies on.  My
        team in FRED Fantasy League never did get posted.

COLIN : Didn't it?

TERRY : No.

CA                         Interview

COLIN : Oh, so you're all lonely when I talk about it.

TERRY : Yeah.  Sad.

COLIN : What was the last thing you ever wrote for FRED?  Apart
        from that C demo which just plugged your own stuff.

TERRY : Did it?  Oh, well.  Erm, we wrote you a SAM Vision demo.
        That was a while back.

COLIN : I, erm, I might go and interview that German girl
        actually.

TERRY : Which one's that?

COLIN : Down there.

TERRY : Very nice.  Can we do a joint interview?

CA                         Interview

COLIN : Anyway, before I'm labelled a pervert (again)..

TERRY : Rather than a girl!

COLIN : Ho ho.  What were we saying?

TERRY : Erm, we didn't have a lot of stuff on FRED.  We sent
        plenty up, but Brian McConnell seemed to ignore it.  I
        don't know why it is.

COLIN : Yeah, he tended to ignore a lot of SCADs stuff.  He
        ignored a lot of Martin Fitzpatrick stuff.

TERRY : Martin's improved a lot lately.

COLIN : Yeah, I like his stuff.  I like your stuff Martin, send
        some more in.

TERRY : Yeah, you're really good Martin, get in contact with us
CA                         Interview

        'coz you're going to design some levels for us as well.

COLIN : So, any plans to produce stuff for FRED in the future,
        MATE?

TERRY : Yeah, well we've got a little Manic Miner game, about 10
        or 15 levels...

COLIN : Wooo...

TERRY : If you want that?

COLIN : Yeah.  Go on, you've twisted my arm.

TERRY : I'll send that to you then.

COLIN : Cor, I'm doing interviews more often if they're as
        successful as this.

CA                         Interview

PERSON: Are you busy?



COLIN : Yeah, very busy.

TERRY : Really busy.  In fact, I've got no money.

PERSON: Money now.

TERRY : I've got no money.

COLIN : Terry's in a pickle.

TERRY : No money.  No money, I've got no money.  Credit cards?
        Cheque?

PERSON: No.

CA                         Interview

COLIN : He's got a nice shirt, you can have that.

TERRY : Ha ha!  I could trade my shirt.

PERSON: No.

TERRY : I'll come and see you in a bit.



COLIN : Oh dear.  I'm sticking to writing interviews down.  I've
        forgotten what we were saying again.

TERRY : You were twisting my arm about doing stuff for FRED.

COLIN : Yeah, good lad.

TERRY : The game is written in SCADs, but I know you don't mind
        SCADs too much.
CA                         Interview

COLIN : I don't.  No, I like it.  What's your view of the SAM
        community as a whole?

TERRY : They're a pretty friendly bunch.  Couple that are meant
        to hate each other.  Won't mention any names...

COLIN : Go on.

TERRY : No.

COLIN : Go on.

TERRY : Alright.  Dave Ledbury and Bob Brenchley.

COLIN : Wow!

TERRY : Surprise, surprise.

COLIN : Scandal.  We can see them both as well.
CA                         Interview

TERRY : Good job they're at opposite end of the room.

COLIN : There's no-one at FRED's stand.  Colin's looking all sad
        and lonely.

TERRY : That's because he is.

COLIN : Hahaahahaaa.  Before I get into trouble, let's continue.
        Where do you think Jupiter is heading?

TERRY : Ooh.  Down the drain.

COLIN : Yeah?  Seriously?

TERRY : No, not really.  We haven't got time really, 'coz we're
        both at uni now...

COLIN : Where you going?

CA                         Interview

TERRY : De Montfort.

COLIN : Oh right, I've got a mate there doing maths.

TERRY : I'm doing 100% computing.

COLIN : Are you taking your SAM with you???

TERRY : Well, I only live 15 miles away, so I'll work at home.

COLIN : Right.  Amalthea 2 is up and coming and is it to be
        released by FRED, or Revelation, or..?

TERRY : If Colin agrees to everything we demand, like money!  He
        has to like the game too.

COLIN : Are you likely to go with companies in the future, or do
        you plan to release under the Jupiter Software name?

CA                         Interview

TERRY : We don't really have a lot of time to do Jupiter, so
        we'll probably go elsewhere.   We're doing a couple of
        games with Colin Piggot and Quazar - one platform one.
        Apart from that, we haven't got a lot planned.  There'll
        be more updates on our C book.

COLIN : To cater with SAM Vision?

TERRY : Yeah, and the float library if that ever gets released.

COLIN : Where do you see the SAM heading?

TERRY : Well, there seems to be less and less users every year.
        I can see it going on and on as an enthusiasts machine
        with 2 or 3 hundred users, which won't be too bad.  It
        seems to be dying very slowly, but we'll see.

COLIN : Erm, what else shall I ask you?

CA                         Interview

TERRY : Ask him to leave my SAM alone .

COLIN : Swine.

        Right, I can't think of anything else of the top of my
        head.

TERRY : I've got an e-mail address.

COLIN : Have you?  Go on say it.

TERRY : It's [redacted]

COLIN : Thankyou.